Children are for the birds!

The spectacular beauty of winter is not always as obvious as it is after a fresh snowfall, or when the trees glisten with ice. But if you look closely, you will see muted splendor in the reds, browns, golds, and forest green of garden and roadside brush. 

 

On closer observation, you will see that winter vegetation is aflutter with wildlife. Squirrels frolic in the trees and scrabble about in search of hidden nuts; birds flock seeking nourishment. 

 

In order for the birds to survive through winter, they need a sufficient food supply to maintain their high body temperature. Scarcity of food causes a drop in body temperature, often leading a bird to freeze to death. 

 

Children love to observe nature, and setting up a feeding station in your back yard will provide a valuable service to the wildlife in your neighborhood, as well as a memorable learning experience for you and your children. Easy access to binoculars and a field guide for bird identification further enhance the experience.

During the winter, woodpeckers, nuthatches, and chickadees scavenge for hibernating insects in crevices and openings in trees. They benefit from the supplementation of suet (available in meat and pet supply departments of the grocery store). Finches, sparrows, blue jays, juncos, and grosbeaks munch on shrub berries, tree and weed seeds, and flock to seed feeders.

 

Children enjoy looking for tracks left behind by our feathered friends. You will notice that ground varieties of birds (pigeons, starlings, crows, pheasants) have alternating imprints, while hopping or perching birds (sparrows, blue jays, finches, juncos) leave paired tracks in the snow. 

 

Make a trip to the library, and check out a field guide on birds to determine what kinds of seed attract which type of bird. 

 

Get your child involved by stringing popcorn and cranberries. Stale, unsalted popcorn is best. Cut an orange in half and remove the fruit. The remaining skin forms a cup ideal for holding bird seed. Hang the seed filled “cup” from a tree and birds will be attracted to the bright color! String bits of dried doughnut, bread, and pieces of fruit (orange, apple, raisins) to add to variety and make interesting decorations for the shrubs on your property. Discarded Christmas trees may be relegated to the back yard for this purpose.

Before long your family will be identifying bird by bird. Even toddlers will no longer exclaim “look at the birdie”, but “look at the nuthatch!”, or “look at the junco!” The delight on little faces as they learn to recognize the different varieties of birds provides one of those “snapshots” we keep in our mind for years to come. My little friend Kyle was thrilled to observe, “That chickadee knows it's name!” My eldest became such nature enthusiast that he would save his allowance for weeks and then agonize over which field guide to buy next.

 

When feeding the birds, squirrels can be a tremendous annoyance as they pilfer the food you have intended for the birds. There are special feeders which make it difficult for them to raid seed set out for the birds. A left-over handful of holiday nuts, or wildlife food found in the bird seed section of stores, will help to distract the squirrels from your feeder. Observe how they communicate “through the grapevine” as these bushy tailed critters scamper from all over the neighborhood within minutes of discovering these treats! 

 

If you decide to feed the birds, please remember! They will become accustomed to feeding in your yard, and may starve if they are disappointed. If you plan to be away, get a neighbor to care for them in your absence. Also, the object is to keep the birds, and not the neighborhood cats, nourished and satisfied! Be sure to put a bell on your Kitty's collar, and encourage your neighbors to do the same!

- RDW (2003, revised 2010)

Priming the pump when your well runs dry

In our day to day whizzing about, our feet hit the floor running. Work; kids; relationships; meal planning, shopping, and preparation; laundry; cleaning; errands; ferrying people about; making and keeping appointments; volunteering; providing a shoulder to cry on... 
 

We give and give and give, sooner or later to have nothing left to sustain ourselves, let alone anyone else. Then where are we, and all of those who depend on us? 
 

The problem is that we think we don't have the time, the money, or deserve to do the types of things that are indispensable in keeping us sane. They need not be time consuming or expensive. And it's not necessary to resort to alcohol or other chemicals for relief or relaxation.

• Pamper yourself. Light some candles, put on some relaxing music, and luxuriate in a bubble bath (you've seen what a nice bath will do for wound up kids).  

• Go to a beauty salon just to get your hair washed, or find someone willing to sit quietly and brush your hair or rub your feet.

• Visit a library or book store. Browse an area that is of special interest, be it travel, art, garden, cooking, poetry, inspirational, or some other topic of wonder. Children's books are great fun to look at. You may come across one from your childhood; certainly you will discover some new ones with stories or illustrations that will take your breath away or bring tears to your eyes.

• Allow yourself daily contact with nature. Smell the flowers, the fresh cut grass, the soil. Look up through the branches of a tree and drink in the many shades of green as the sunlight filters through the leaves. Revel in the gentle breeze, the bird song, the crickets and cicadas making their music. Watch the squirrels and their antics, the sparrows tormenting the crows. Visit the spider that is bound to be spinning a web someplace in the yard. Wonder at how all of life has its own routines and boundaries...

• Get yourself some really nice colored pencils and a coloring book geared toward calming the frazzled minds of adults- Roger Burrows' Images, OptiDesigns, Mandalas, Coloring Books for Women. Coloring is very relaxing.

You may notice that I tend to suggest things that seem more appropriate for children. We all have an inner child and being able to access him/her is very useful in connecting on a deeper level with the children in our lives. Not only that, but we can give ourselves the nurturance we wanted and may not have gotten as a child. 
 

That said, it is my firm belief that even adults should have a stash of toys of their very own. I keep a drawer of toys in my office: bubbles, slide whistle, magic wand filled with glitter, slinky, kaleidoscope, magnet sculpture, Jacob’s ladder, Koosh ball, and a snugly stuffed animal that is actually a comfort to me when I am sad or lonely. My personal favorite is a hand held labyrinth that serves to collect my thoughts when they scatter following intense and extended concentration, or spending a few hours in the company of several children all vying for my attention. 
 

Make your own list of ideas for when you just can't take it any more! In the end, we must rely only upon ourselves to provide the nurturing our soul so desperately craves, to fill our spirit so that we can care for those who need us, and stay on top of the many other demands in our lives. To expect it from someone else leads only to disappointment and resentment.

RDW (2007, revised 2010)

Are We There Yet??

As summer approaches we start fantasizing about hitting the road, but the reality of traveling with little kids brings our revelry to a screeching halt. So many of us are intimidated by the idea of making a long trip with very young children; but doing so is not only great fun, it lays the groundwork for a future of traveling undaunted by mere distance. 

 

Given that we have family in New England and California, our kids became accustomed to entrapment in their car seats for many hours on end, and to this day we all love long road trips. That is not to say that we didn't learn many lessons the hard way. I am here today to spare you some of these headaches.

First of all, make a comprehensive list of the things you will be needing to bring along. When you are finished with it, put it someplace (e.g., your underwear drawer) where you can find it for future reference. Likewise, keep a copy of house notes left for the person caring for pets and plants, etc. so you don't have to write new ones each time you go away. Changes can be made as necessary before the next trip, without having to create the whole thing from scratch.

Bring along lots of nutritious snacks and drinks. Stopping in parks or playgrounds for snack or lunch, and runaround time will make the next stretch of travel much easier. You can spend an hour having a picnic and getting the wiggles out instead of having to further restrain the children in a diner. If you plan to go the restaurant route for meals, go on-line and map out the locations of some acceptable choices. Having to search high and low for someplace to eat with a car full of hungry, cranky kids is not fun! (Remember to do a head count when leaving a pit stop. Driving off without one of the children happens far more often than one would expect!) 

 

Packing a bag of “stuff” (notebook, crayons or colored pencils, small toys, books, a deck of cards, a ball or Frisbee for pit stops) for each child to keep themselves entertained is most useful. Or, you may want to dole these playthings out one at a time every hour or so.

Never travel without a large box of Ziplocs and a couple of bath towels kept within easy reach in case of a sudden onset of carsickness. The bags don't leak and the smell is contained until you are able to dispose of it. 

 

Perhaps most critical is lots of kid friendly music that parents can fall in love with and tolerate listening to hundreds of times, because this is what kids do. It doesn't have to be “kid's music”- so much of that becomes terribly annoying in short order. But there are a few gems out there. Our very favorite children's artist is Tom Chapin. He is a singer storyteller and in my opinion a talented genius who either knows kids extremely well, or has a vivid recollection of childhood. 

 

Exposing children to a wide variety of music is a gift that lasts a lifetime. You can't go wrong with the Putamayo series of world music, Benny Goodman (big band/jazz), folk music (Peter, Paul, and Mary; the Weavers), or classical music that tells a story (Carnival of the Animals, Fantasia) 

 

While you may be tempted by the possibility of keeping the kids occupied through use of a dvd player, keep in mind that when children are watching TV, they are missing a world of first hand experience. Children become so excited when they see a herd of cattle, or the huge sculpture of a dinosaur, or various other landmarks. 

 

Numerous travel games keep the whole family entertained. Have everyone in the car pick a color and count cars. See how many different states can be identified on license plates. Play word games. (I learned how to read playing the alphabet game using the signs we passed).

 

You may be surprised to remember the large repertoire of songs you learned as a youngster in school or in scouts. Even if you can only remember part of a song, it is very easy to find the lyrics on-line. Kids love learning the silly songs we learned as children.

Of course, long road trips with little (and not so little) ones are not all fun and games. There are the inevitable spats that have a way of escalating to unacceptable proportions. Pulling over to the side of the road, turning the ignition off and sitting quietly (without letting yourself get sucked into the fray) until they decide it's time to move on is most effective in restoring the peace. In extreme situations, removing a child from the car (regardless of weather, and always with close parental supervision) provides a clear message that the behavior will not be tolerated.

When planning a road trip, include all family members to create a team spirit. Discuss beforehand the expectations, limits, and consequences of certain behaviors. When children are equipped with this information ahead of time, they are eager to cooperate; and if it becomes necessary to enforce disciplinary measures, it is by choice of the person misbehaving .- RDW (5-13-10)

Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It Snow

Year by year the complexities of this world grow more bewildering. We need all the more to seek peace and comfort in the joyful simplicities, and to teach our children to do the same. For in so doing, we enable them to seek contentment within themselves rather than relying on electronic devices for their entertainment.   

Being from Maine, I've always liked it when winter really acts like winter, with lots of snow and subfreezing temperatures. If you are like me (and most kids!) and there is rumor of a big snowstorm, you wake up every half hour all night long to see if it is still snowing and whoop with glee when school is canceled. Perhaps you are able to stay home as well. Make it your priority to create some wonderful memories with your children! 

 

Remember the joy of winter as a child, and reacquaint yourself with the luxury of that pleasure. Shovel snow together, but don't be surprised if your kids want to shovel the yard and not the driveway. Create snow angels.; build a snowman; make a snow fort. Go sledding at Babcock Park Hill, or Stonybrook, or some other great place near your home. Chances are quite good you won't have to go far.

Take a walk in the woods on snowshoes or cross country skis. Look for winter birds, and squirrels’ nests. Notice animal tracks and try to identify them. If you find any animals hibernating (bats, insects) do not disturb them, as they may die if they are awakened. Notice how tightly leaf buds are wrapped so they won't freeze; observe what happens if we get a stretch of warm weather. Go to a frozen stream. Notice ice formations and water running underneath. (Stay onshore lest one goes through the ice!)

Make bird feeders using popcorn and cranberries; pine cones with peanut butter rolled in birdseed; seed cups using the peels of half oranges and lemons with string hangers. Decorate the trees with treats for the birds and animals.

Have a Neighborhood Winter Carnival. Snow sculpt a glorified snowman, dragon, Big Bird... Set up target games for hurling snowballs. Have a tug of war in the snow. Afterward, share in the warmth of a pot of cocoa made with real milk, or hot spiced cider and popcorn.

Even if housebound, having an expectation of time together as a family for a couple of hours without electronic devices affords the quiet companionship snow days and Sunday afternoons are perfect for. Playing cards or board games; sprawling around the living room, each with his or her own book, or reading a book aloud together as a family; making valentines for school and each other; writing letters to grandparents or journaling; working a jigsaw puzzle together; making tacos, or shaking it up with a dance party, lay a foundation for close ties between siblings 

This time of year, as the pace seems to slow somewhat, it is easier to find moments for quality time with the children. Sometimes when we are immersed in the trials of parenting and day to day living, it is hard to realize how truly fleeting this precious time with little ones is. Children have so much to teach us. Please take the opportunity to really enjoy this priceless gift of childhood. And take lots of pictures! You won't regret it. (RDW 1-19-11)